All I really want to do ...

>> Thursday, July 30, 2009

Perhaps this song can help me express my feelings now.

All I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still cant say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me,
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again




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'Sesat Jalan' Club

>> Wednesday, July 29, 2009

It really beats me how I can go lost in Penang. Its such a joke that being such an informed guy about the roads in Penang, I too can go missing. Today, I officially join the "sesat jalan" club. Hmmm... haven't you heard of it? The president is none other than my mum. Ooops... I'm not suppose to say that, but since I did, might as well share with you guys. Mum can easily get lost when driving except familiar places like Gurney and Tanjung Bungah. Ask her to drive in Bayan Lepas, she will bring you to some other destination. Hahaha... [lets hope she doesn't find out about this or this will be the end of me]


So, after just one day of holiday, ONE DAY, I got so bored I decided to ride around Penang Island again. Hahaha... damn mou liu right? LOL. Anyway, being rather bored, I try to find roads that I've never used before. I found 2 today and all 2 leads me no where but forcing me to either make a U-turn or ride on the wrong side of the road heading against traffic. Hahaha... I am not joking. There was even a policeman scratching his head wondering what this crazy guy wearing a silver colored helmet, riding a purple colored bike going against traffic ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. Phewww, lucky me he didn't gave me ticket or saman. Sesat jalan la tuan, mintak maaf ya. Hahahaha...

First, I rode on one of the roads at Balik Pulau which the name is unknown to me. I've always reach the junction and take a left turn but I've decided, why don't I take a right turn today. Who knows where it might bring me. Hmmm... guess where it brings me to? BACK TO WHERE I STARTED. There is a small roundabout at Balik Pulau and again I always take the left turn, taking the road I'm familiar with. Nevertheless, I finally figure out that the so called "never used before" road brings me back to that small roundabout. Confusing? Complicating? That is just the beginning.

Next, instead of turning right and use the Batu Maung highway back, I opt to use the Bayan Lepas road. Passing the Penang airport on the opposite direction, I wasn't really too sure of what led me to make a U-turn and go to the airport. Hello, I got no reason to be there. LOL. Getting inside the airport, I sesat lagi. I can't find my way out. So, I rode against traffic, on the wrong side of the road. LOL. There was where I met the policeman too. At last, I did manage to squeeze my way through and get back on the road.

Soon after, I drop by Kelly Services. Hmmm... its been like 2 months since I last went there. Things have change. Faizal is no longer working there. I was introduced to a female consultant. Well, she is pretty helpful and promised to find a job for me (yea...) but I've got to submit my resume to her. Later, after Kelly Services, again... I didn't know what happened to me. Out of a sudden, I just wanna go to INTI. On my way to INTI, I missed a junction which I was suppose to turn into and overshot. Guess what? Riding on the wrong side of the road against traffic again lo. Hahaha. Did I reach INTI? Not quite yet, cause I made a left turn only to find out that the previous campus (i think) is now some USM bla~bla~ but I did reach INTI, safely in one piece. Hahaha... seriously, I've been laughing all the way back home some road user might think that this guy has gone nuts already. LOL!

Back to serious matter. I went to INTI and ask about their degree programs available. Not bad, I mean way much better than KDU. At least the counselor seems to be pretty honest and his words does seem to be believable. 3+0 BA of Commerce, a twinning program with Curtin University. Its actually not bad. Hmmm... can consider. Ya know the previous dilemma I faced? Perhaps if something happens, I wouldn't mind going to INTI.

I've been on a downloading spree again lately. Downloaded two Andy Lau's movie in just 2 days, believe it or not. Ahhh, I have some trick up my sleeve to cheat Megaupload. No download limits despite being a free user. First movie is Needing You, starring Andy Lau and Sammi Cheng. Not bad, 3.5 out of 5 stars. Quite entertaining. The movie does feature a few of my favorite bikes, the NSR250SP, the RVF400 and the Ninja ZX400RR. Second movie is a classic. A Moment of Romance, starring Andy Lau again and Wu Chien Lien. Good. Meaningful. Touching. 4.5 out of 5 stars. Bike featured in the movie is also wonderful, and I insist wonderful, the legendary square-four RG500. Damn I want that bike. And the trademark scene, riding on Shoei helmet fetching a 17 year old chick wearing a bridal gown, awww... no words to describe it.

Alright. I guess that's it for this post. I've crapped a lot already. Stay tune and come back in a few more days for updates.

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Fussy people all over place

>> Monday, July 27, 2009

What a great way to kick start my holiday.

Saturday night, or you can say early Sunday morning, was spent at QEII with a bunch of friends. The music there was damn good, it was a DJ from Indonesia if I'm not mistaken. Geez... I drank quite a lot of beer that night, but was still standing... or maybe not. Hahaha... I don't know... but I was pretty aware I talk a lot of nonsense. Hahaha...

I reach home at about 3 something maybe 4, I wasn't really sure. Bathed and went to bed and slept like a dead man until 12 in the afternoon. LOL. All and all, I had lots of fun that night. This may be my first time, but it ain't going to be the last. Hmmm... minus the puffing part. What was I thinking???

Sunday night, visits from friends. Tutorial for management accounting and introduction to IT. Well, not really tutorial. Hahaha... more like chit chatting and joking around. Slept late again. 1 something, wasn't sure again but all I know was that I had to wake up at 7 something in the morning.

Did I manage? Hell yea I did. Off to work at 8:30am. Wahhh!!! met a very very very ... still insisting very fussy American at Batu Ferringhi. Duh!!! never in my life have I met such a fussy person. 11:30am change working venue to Greenlane, Condo Gembira this time. The security there also very fussy lo. Identification Card la, driving license la... yoooorrr... I am not a burglar la... not there to rob anyone.

Back home at 3:30pm. Bathed, blogging and now, I am off to bed.

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Music cures everything

>> Friday, July 24, 2009

Great songs to share with you guys.

Staind - Believe


Hinder - Far From Home


The Fray - Never Say Never (final song from my previous blog)


Collective Soul - Adored


Greenday - 21 Guns


Cavo - Let It Go


Pink - I Don't Believe You (P!NK ROCKS)


Seether - Broken (feat Amy Lee)


Augustana - Boston (purposely chosen the One Tree Hill vid)


Switchfoot - You

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Its Friday

That's it. A long journey that started at the end of March 07 has finally ended today. I, CK, has finally completed my first diploma which took me 2 years and 4 months of my teenage life. Hmm... as happy as I seem to be in college after the final paper, it is all but fake as now, as I am blogging now, my future is still uncertain. Despite having decided that I will continue to pursue my degree, I am unable to make up my mind about which university to join and when to join. Sigh... I think I'll leave this issue aside.

Anyway, back to what I've decided to do after my finals today. I thought I want to go for another motorcycle ride around the Penang island. But... plan canceled. Why...???

Road tax has expired (english)
Cukai jalan sudah mati (bahasa malaysia)
Road tax see liau la...(english + hokkien)

What to do? I have forgotten that my bike's road tax will expire on July 22 and today is already July 24. Never mind, I shall renew my road tax(coax mum to renew it for me later) and go for the ride tomorrow.

As for now, I want to go get some sleep. Hahaha... I need a long and peaceful rest... (not that I want to rest six feet under like our dear MJ)

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ANGER MANAGEMENT

>> Monday, July 20, 2009

ANGER MANAGEMENT. This is what I need.

Lately, I think (I think only la) that I have transformed from a very calm guy (relatively) into a very hot-tempered monster. Every single tiny conflict will spark rage in me and I'll start to curse and yell and shout and complain and go on and on and on about it. This has got to come to an end before I get myself into any serious matter, eg. a fist fight with a Russian mafia that will kill me instantly (not that I have the balls to fight a Russian mafia, lol)Grrr... I wonder what is causing me to over-react to every single thing...


First of all, I got into a fight with dad. It has been hours and soon it will become days before we even talk to one another. What causes it is no longer important. But do I think that I am right. Oh yesss... of course, CK is always right. Am I right? Hahahaha... But still, I didn't think that I've made any comments which is too rough or too ugly for the ear to listen so I am not at fault for this.

This morning, I over-reacted again in college. Its the STUPID library this time. Other people/group are allowed to extend their hours for the discussion room, starting from 9 in the morning up until 3 in the afternoon. That is fine. I tried to renew the room I accessed and I was denied renewal because I went late in renewing it. So what the fuck is this. You know what, I am going to college tomorrow, early in the morning, be the first person to step into the library, get a room and book it for the entire day up until 7 in evening, until they close. I'll see if that bitch has anything to say to me. If it is allowed today, it must be allowed tomorrow. Grrr... I am not ready to lose this fight, and I ain't losing it.

P/S: That bitch called us back 5 minutes later after we were denied access to the discussion room through cellphone to tell us that they had made a mistake and that we can have the room. TOO LATE. (scared of me already hor? just you wait)

Nothing related to anger management. I went and visit the temple at Kampar road to pray to the ... I am not sure what to type here. Buddha right, buddha I think. My first visit there. Hmmm... spent about 20 minutes there and received a string to tie on my right hand (for blessing or something like that).

Its final week of college for me. 4 more days to go. 3 more days of exams. Busy preparing myself for the exam, so I guess my next update will be on Friday. Guess the first thing I will do after exam on Friday is go for another (yet another) motorcycle ride around Penang island. Then head to beach. Get myself a decent dinner at a decent restaurant, solo (unless someone, preferably young and pretty and innocent girls who wants to join me, hahaha [stop dreaming CK]) and head back to sleep like a pig. We shall see if all that does really happen.

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Final day, diploma

>> Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hoorayyy... but at the same time, sigh...

Hoorayyy as I've finally complete 2 years and 4 months in KDU. I, have finally completed my diploma (an early declare) and I am extremely relieved (last presentation today) despite I still have the final battle awaiting for me next week (final exam).

Its pretty amazing how fast time flies. 2 years and 4 months ago, I was a complete no lifer with nothing in my mind, no aims in life but just the thought of lazing at home and go "measure" the road, hahaha. Well, I dare to say that my life will never ever be the same again after such a long period in college. Having met all kinds of people and to learn from them, its a fact that cannot be challenged nor denied that the outside world is not as simple as what we perceive it to be.

Well, today being the last day of lecture, nothing special really happened (not that I hope that something will happen). Perhaps people have conditioned themselves (like I did) that all meetings do end with partings and that this end marks a new beginning for all of us. Degree. Work. Marriage. Yes. Don't be shock. Most would definitely further their education and continue to pursue a degree, few others might join the workforce and contribute to the nation's GDP(hahaha) and yes, one or two will get married. I'm not joking. As for me, I don't really know. Pursuing a degree is certainly not the only option I've got, I am really split. Marriage, nahhh... don't think so. Hahahaha... [deep inside my heart: CK up for sale, any buyers???]

A few post back, I spoke of a dilemma that was plaguing me. Well, I am afraid to say that the thing that I fear most is going to happen. "He" is going to do it. Yes, with a confidence interval of 95%, LOL. Hmm... I didn't really spoke to him, he didn't really discussed it with me, perhaps I am the one who is thinking too much? I don't really know. That is why they always tell me and I always forget that as human, we plan but being God, HE decides. Sigh, time is running out for me. Having seen so many of my friends who are 20 years plus and still haven't accomplish any significant success in life, I do not want to end up like them. I can't afford to end up like them. Someone or anyone out there, perhaps you can help me clear up my mind. Tell me what to do...

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RTD/JPJ, CK.a.student hate you

>> Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I hate the road transport department and the officers there.

As you've read from the previous post, I've sold away the Suzuki FX125. In the process of selling the bike to the shop, I had to go to the road transport department (JPJ la, in bahasa) to sign the paper works and for the officers to verify that the vehicle does belong to me and that I've the right to sell it and I've sold it to the shop. Hmm... a simple procedure took me hours. It depends on you whether I am exaggerating as hours here, I meant an hour and a half. But the thing is, all I had to do was to sign that piece of paper/document in front of him. Just one signature and I had to wait 1.5 hours.

Bear with me as I'm not done yet. Why was the waiting so long one may ask. Well, there were at least 40 people, like me who needs to sign the document in front of the officer. 40 people and the entire RTD/JPJ department only assigned one officer for the job. ONE. Next is the size of the office. 40 people, there were only 8 chairs. Being a young and healthy teenager, I don't mind standing. But then, another big shot officer came to all of those who were standing to stand outside the office as it was too cramped. Standing outside under the freaking hot sun. I am really boiling!!! Then there was no system, no order. You don't have to take numbers and wait for turns. An argument nearly ensued because people were cutting the lines.

There is another thing which I can't bear seeing was that corruption still happen. To get all the things done immediately, you just have to fork out RM80. Yes, you pay RM80 and you get to go to the "fast lane". But the thing is, sometimes, when no one is willing to fork out RM80 to utilize the "fast lane", the least these officers could do to clear their sins was to help the senior citizens. Damn, waiting with me, standing under the hot sun was about five elders who were at least 60 years and above. Come on, have some sympathy for the elders, they deserve the priority. You can't expect a 60 plus elder to stand and wait for hours just to sign a document in front of you, you idiot officers.

Haihz, and I thought a while ago the government sectors had this policy where the physically challenged and elders are prioritized. Yet, the government is lauding about how much they had improved on the efficiency of the government sector. KEY PERFORMANCE INDICATOR (KPI), ya right. Before I end this post, I just have to say I hate the officers (again...) They are bloody snobbish pigs. PIGS. The way they walk, the tone they use with you when they talk, ehhh... don't cross the line and I have to remind you pigs that your salary do come from the taxes that we pay (my dad pay, I don't). Grrr...

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There goes the CyberSport

>> Monday, July 13, 2009

Today is one of the saddest day in my life as the motorcycle I love most in my family is sold, making way for a new bike.

Approximately 2 years ago, after much begging and asking, dad finally agree to buy me one of the best underbone motorcycle available on sale in the market. The bike I'm talking about here is the Suzuki FX125. Hailed from the CyberSport series, dubbed the King of Moped years before Yamaha came out with their 135LC, this bike will butcher any 4 stroke mopeds in a drag race (ya know the traffic light, hahaha). What made the bike so powerful was its engine which back then was and still is today, the most technology-equipped in an underbone. Using a double overhead cam complete with 4 valves, oil-cooled with a 26mm CV carburettor the bike boast approximately 14 hp and it has full racing clutch with 5 speed gearbox. Its handling is also commendable having short wheelbase and monoshock on the rear. Ahh... I can go on and on talking non-stop about this bike.

Suzuki FX125 CyberSport, love that Enkei alloy wheels

Hmm... after 2 years serving me, the bike's condition was getting from bad to worse. THE ENGINE which is the gem of the bike unfortunately is also its Achilles heel. This bike requires more maintenance compared to any other mopeds. At last, which is today, reluctantly, I had to sell away the bike. I am very sad. Sigh, I am going to miss the sound of its engine and that wonderful alloy sportrim from Enkei. Truly a legend bike, at least for me. Love for the FX always and forever. Hahahaha... (you probably thinking this guy is a maniac for loving his bike so dearly, LOL)

Anyway, there will be a new bike that will join the family. Its the Suzuki Shogun 125 RR. This bike is very handsome by all means. Front and rear alloy wheels, front and rear disc brakes, SOHC (not DOHC) 125 cubic centimetre engine just to mention a few main attractions of the bike. Well, like I've said, its a RR model so this one has a centrifugal clutch which is easier to ride and maintain unlike its SP sibling which has a manual clutch. Hmm... a review about the bike shall pop up soon enough in this blog as I might be getting the bike tomorrow. So meanwhile, take a look at the pictures of the bike.


Suzuki Shogun RR, too bad they don't have the fuel-injected models in M'sia.


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Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday
Despite me finding you annoying at times,
I still love you... hahahaha...



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Hmm... scratching my head cont. (boring)

>> Thursday, July 09, 2009

Hmm... bored. I just came back from dinner and here I am sitting my skinny ass in front of the laptop figuring out what to do. Well, I am out of songs to listen to, out of websites to browse and got bored of watching series online. Then... a thought came to my mind. Well, it has something to do with what Dr. Kow said in the program review meeting held recently.

In the meeting, Dr. Kow noted that there were a few students who commented on how boring the lecturers are. He somehow suspected those who commented on this was those who had no interest in the lecture and at the same time, were the culprits that make noise during the lecture. Well, I presume he suspects them (if I'm wrong, then sorry la Dr. Kow). Anyway, it was clear to him that in a lecture, there lies two groups of student, one who is very interested and one who is not. He suggested or at the very least he voiced out one of the most absurd, non-sensical suggestion which I've never expected from him which is to split the class into two groups based on their interest/academic performance or any criteria deemed fit. It is important for me to make it clear here that he did mention that such a move is discriminatory.

Why do I say that the move is the most absurd, non-sensical suggestion? First of all, who is to decide which student belongs into which group. Second, based on which criteria will the student be judged on. Third, would there be any double standard considering that all students are required to pay the same amount of tuition fee. And the list goes on and on. I even heard one of my friends said that it was like a secondary school and I just had to agree with her. LOL. I can't imagine looking at the time table, seeing two classes of Malaysian Economics, "kelas" 1A and 1b. LOL.

Furthermore, what are they trying to achieve with such measure? Improve the quality of the education here? How much would the quality increase by and does it justify such a controversial move? I reckon they would be better off at increasing the quality of the education by looking for more experienced lecturers. Don't you guys agree? Hehehehe...

That's it. I missed this one out in the previous post. Hahaha... Anyway, I am facing a very big dilemma. I am going to keep it a secret for now until its confirmed. Until it is confirmed. Haiz... life... it can change so fast and the change can be so drastic but the agent that sparks that change is just a simple word and that word is 'Yes'.

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Hmmm... scratching my head

>> Tuesday, July 07, 2009

A program review. What on earth is a program review? What is the purpose of a program review?

So these are the few questions that I ask myself after attending one of the program review meeting today. One would wonder why I ask such questions. Well to be honest, it was rather funny that the program review is nothing much but a session for the students to listen to Dr. Kow telling us what we wrote in the program review survey. Hmmm ... (scratching my head...) why do we wanna know that since we are the ones who wrote it...

Never mind. That aside. I wonder why Dr. Kow or Cik Ismazeta (lecturer/clerk/assistant/whatever) are telling us that they are making progress, implementing changes and taking actions to improve on the future diploma program. Read that carefully, future diploma program. Hmmm... (scratching my head again...) we are students who are expecting to complete the program within 2 weeks. Within 2 weeks. Why are you telling us something about 2011 when we are obviously not interested nor bothered to know about it.

Next. I talked a lot during the program review. Whatever I said may not be substantial or perhaps its utter bullshit. Having taken 3 english papers I find that they are useless. Now, the new 2009 batch (keep in mind, I am from batch 2007) are required to take only 2 english papers which I believe is useless again. Suggesting that the diploma program to have students taking IELTS or TOEFL or MUET in the course in pursuing diploma is what I think would be a good idea. Well, being a freshman previously, I don't have any exposure to all these. The college should expose the students to all these, and perhaps making it compulsory for them to complete the aforesaid english requirement tests before they can be granted a diploma.

To justify this, first, KDU has the bragging right to say that all of the business students here have or are required to complete the english test before being granted their diploma which ensures their high proficiency in English. Though these english test may not be done in KDU, I believe KDU can find ways to affliate or cooperate with institutions that do offer these english tests. Secondly, if KDU do implement this measure, then I do believe they are living up to its moto, which is good and honest education. I believe most if not all students today view diploma merely as a ticket for them to enter into undergrad programs in the future. As such, this measure will go a long way in helping the students. The students will be well prepared and qualified for enrollment into any universities be it a local or a foreign uni.

Before I end this post, if you're going to have a program review meeting, do take criticism positively. If you're going to be a sore loser, then there is no point for us to even be there at the meeting. That's it. I have spoken enough for the past 2 years. I have voiced out countless of times, in good faith... and some in ... (you know la), hoping that they will improve things one day. As much as I hate the college, I want the college to be a great one in the future. When that day comes, I hope I can stand up proudly and brag with my friends "hey, your kawan here was an ex-student there, respect la... and hell did he enjoyed every moment of it".

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Love story

>> Monday, July 06, 2009

Blogging. I knew I just couldn't quit blogging. As absurd (mou-liu) as blogging can be, only those who've blogged know that it is not true; or perhaps I am the only person that enjoys blogging even though I blog about nonsense all the time. Haha. Anyway, as bold as I can be, I dare to say that blogging has become part of my life. Geez... you've no idea how boring life can be and you have nothing to do. Nevertheless that aside, I've got a love story to tell. My love story.


So this was how it all began...


As far as I could recall, it happened somewhere in the early, mid or probably end of May 2008. Before that, I had a crush on this girl (whom I think is still amazing). But soon I realized that I was thinking too much, and that she already set her mind towards another guy. Quietly, this love not professed, I leave. Being sad and sorrow, listening to Rihanna's Cry, bearing the nickname [CK - I cry tears, I bleed blood... I am human too afterall] or something like that in MSN, came along this girl whom I recently added. She was aware of the whole thing; text me through MSN, asking me if I was okay... assuring me that everything was going to be alright soon... that in future, there will be other girls for me. As dumb as I can be, not really knowing this girl, it doesn't really matter as the words she said, it did comfort me a little if not too much, I felt better.

Since then, we begin to talk to one another. I could still recall how she wanted to send an sms to her friend but ended up she text me, the wrong recipient, LOL. We form and joined the same group for group assignments. We became friends. So one fine day, I decided to ask her out for a movie but I know that it wouldn't be successful. Thus, I need all the help that I can get..., I used her friends as chaperons not knowing that they (the friends) do have a small tiny plan of their own. The friends bought the tickets, but cunningly they left us both a few rows lower while they the culprits sit a few rows up "chaperoning" us. I've to admit I am a shy guy. I talk a lot during presentations, I have lots of ideas when it comes to projects, but when it comes to girls, I will either froze or I have nothing to say. So, I had nothing to say... keeping quiet throughout the entire movie, while the culprits behind was giggling and laughing all the way.

That continued throughout the entire outing. After movie, we went for lunch at Winter Warmers. Things didn't get any better for me. They met more friends and ex-classmates while being the only guy there, I had nothing much or nothing at all to say, I peeked into the small TV inside Segafredo watching rally racing. LOL. After that outing, came more outing and slowly feelings for her began to develop. I have to say no other female characters minus my mum had that much influence on me. She was the one who changed my perception on Mandarin and Cantonese songs which I used to hate a lot previously.

Then came my birthday, October 30 2008. I have to say its the best birthday I've ever had. Whether she was the mastermind behind all of it, it doesn't matter for she was part of it. A whole group of girls, seven of them, threw a surprise party for me at my house. Damn I have to say I was really happy that night. As days passed, I brought not all but a few, she included for dinner at Bukit Genting. We had lots of fun there, but there was lots of nyamuk too. LOL. And its the first time I drove so far, hahaha... Then came her birthday. No surprise party this time. I knew she was going to be tired. The whole morning out with her friends and fans... (yes, she has lots of fans), she went back home just to bath and change and then came out with me for dinner. What happen after dinner was between me and her, eh eh eh... by all means whatever happened, no body contact was involved. (laughin... know you guys will think nonsense).

Whatever happened that night, things began to change. I accepted her explanation. I've to admit here that I was shy and being a coward. There is nothing I could do now, its the past. Things moved on from there, the first few day we weren't really talking or chatting with one another but soon, things began to turn normal again. But, the semester ended and that means I wouldn't be able to see her as often. Counting the days foolishly, days that I've not met her face to face, we soon meet up again on December 30, 2008. But things were different again. She was kinda cool. I felt a bit depressed la. At the same time, I was having mixed feeling. The girl that I had a crush on previously was facing a few issues and that really made me feel disorientated for quite sometime. I had thoughts of having another go for the crush, but again that never really happened and I backed off as usual.

A new year, new semester, her last semester. Everyone was so eager to complete their diplomas while me, the very least I wanted to do was to freeze time knowing that I wouldn't be able to turn back time. Sadly, reality hit me... I am not Hiro from Heroes. LOL. Time flies and that's it, the semester ends and I seldom see her then though we still chat and all, I began to back off, didn't wanted to feel what I am feeling now. She went to work, she got really busy and we chat lesser and lesser. There was a point where we didn't chat at all for weeks. As ugly as all this could end, I went into an argument with her friend. I wasn't sure if she believed me, but at least I did explain myself. There rest was up to her.

Surprisingly, she dropped by my house to give me some cookies. I was very surprised I became disorientated. I had a gift for her, which I bought a couple days ago that I forgot to pass to her, LOL. This gift may be the final gift that she'll ever receive from me here in Malaysia, but I guess it wouldn't be the last present from me. She is leaving today. I couldn't really sleep last night. For the first time, I was not eager to see sunrise today. I am not going to airport to send her off, I didn't want to create a scene there. And that is how my story ends here...

Like blogging, (not that I am comparing her to blogging, how can you compare someone so special to blogging) she too became part of my life or perhaps there wasn't really anything there but me being vain. I wished I had knew her earlier. I wished I had said the words when the time matters most. But it all didn't happen. If I were to say that three words, I would really want to mean it. I hesitated, perhaps the timing wasn't right or maybe I didn't have that confidence to say it. She has become part of my not so extraordinary life and she turned it into a wonderful life, she is a past that is never my history, not now and not in the near future. Feelings for her up until today though at times were shaken, they had never change. I wrote a lot about how much I love her but I have never said it, I can only write it down. That would be my biggest regret.

That my friend is my story. Forgive me if I had wasted 10 minutes of your life reading this absurd (mou liu) post of mine. Hahaha... This is my comeback into blogging. So shower me will all your comments and flood my chatbox. Hahahaa...

P/S: I love you, always and forever. I wish you all the best in your studies over at Australia.





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A fixed amount for donations

Donations. Every year, every school from St. Xavier's Institution to Convent Pulau Tikus, most if not all non-government body, be it St. John or the Red Cresent ask for donations. Every year, thousands of people go out and about, into the streets, the wet market, ferry station, shopping complexes, food courts; some holding a small tin can while others hold a piece of card and some brochures giving their best effort in really helping to seek donations. Well, the very least I could remember was that I too was a former member in the Red Cresent society and when it comes to Flag Day, I have to perform my duty. That aside, I was also the member of social action group which once in awhile is also required to collect donations.

That brings me to one question cause up until today,

whatever donations that I have seek, I don't know where they end up and who benefited from it. Where did all that money went to? What was the purpose of the donation? Do they REALLY really need it? Well, to all donation seekers out there, stop and think about it okay.

Anyway, the issue here is how annoying all these donations have become. I could at the very least understand the severity and how badly the people who suffered from catastrophe such as tsunami, earthquakes or landslides will ever need these donations. I might feel for the orphans. But schools. SCHOOLS. A place where we study needs donation? This is really really annoying. Every year, they hand over the cards for us to seek donations. Arghhh!!! How much I despise this.

And let me ask you a question. Does donation has a limit? I mean when you seek donations, do you open tender and ask for a certain amount of money and that you WOULDN'T settle for anything less than the amount specified? Truth be told, this is actually happening. WHATTT THE HELL IS THIS? Let me make myself clear here. I am not talking about charitable organizations, not orphanage homes, not the homes for the aged and infirm but schools. The very institution that serves to provide us education.

So some of you guys might disagree with me and hate me on this. Recently, my brother (stupiak brother) received the card (walkathon, jogathon, whatever thon... ) to collect donations. Well, he is somewhat of a coward (unlike me who is shy when it comes to my female counterparts, he is afraid of the school). He doesn't dare to question the school, doesn't dare to speak up his mind like I do and not ready to challenge them. Set there is a requirement of at least, the very minimum of RM40.00 per card and that is made compulsory. He is lazy to collect donation using the card, probably shy (so you can put the blame on both reasons), he somehow managed to coax mum to ask me to do it for him. Well guess what, did I do it... nahhhhh... not in a million, gazillion years.

That led to a fight between me and mum. Well, RM40.00 is by all mean not a big amount but I am not saying that it's easy to collect RM40.00 especially when first, you're living in Penang (where all the kiam siap cockroach is residing, me included wahahaha) and second, during this hard time when people find it difficult to even make ends meet. For God's sake, the fucking government is coaxing everyone into believing that there is no financial crisis or whatsoever crisis. Duh, are they blind or what? One comparison that I can make our current government be it from Pakatan Rakyat or Barisan Nepotis... (ooops, Barisan Nasional) to is that they are the same, not similar but the same as an ostrich who rather dig their heads into the ground than to face the fact.

Back to the donation issue. Given an effort, yes... you(I) can do it. Nothing is impossible. But then, I choose not to do it. Why? The simple reason why is because you asked me to do it. You gave me instructions to do it and for that, I retaliate and I don't want to do it. Yes, I am that kinda person. Why on earth must you make it compulsory? Why are our kids (paused, thinking... yes, I'm not married therefore no kids, LOL), brothers and sisters, cousins and friends made to become tools to serve the school's interest in collecting donations. Ehhh... we go there to study, we are not bind by any sort of contract written in black and white or was there any unwritten social contract or mutual understanding that requires me to contribute at least RM40.00 in the form of donation to the school each year.

I am very pissed off now. Some of you guys might just fuck me up and say, "deyyy, shut up, cut the crap and just go out and go seek donation la, your time wasted to blog about it, might as well put it to good use and seek donation for the school". Well no. I am trying to make a point here. If they want donations, they have to accept whatever amount there is. Be it RM10.00 or just RM1.00, just take it and shut up. Since when the world operate by the concept that beggars do get to be choosers. And the perception of how much you collect for the school reflects upon how much you love you school is TOTALLY nonsense and absurd.

Well, think about what I've blogged about. Does it make sense to you? There is no reason why the school should set an amount for the minimum donation per card. They might as well just go rob the bank. And then to think of it again, there are plenty ways to raise funds and collect donations. We have canteen day every year. Why not have it this year? Why not have it twice? Once at the beginning of the year and once at the end of the year. Stop using those cards la. Grrr... all this donation through cards, it reminds me of all those people that comes around every now and then to seek donations whenever you're enjoying a bowl of laksa and a glass of sugarcane water at Gurney Drive. LOL...


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